There are some really dumb instructions on some products. Here are some examples.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(and what if i do?)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a "suggestion").

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(ooops. too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(oh really?)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(uhhhhhhh....)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(wow. i didnt know that...)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Chrysther